All these years, since i was a little child, i’ve been doing my best to make my parents proud of me and make them happy. I never failed, every year in school i was always at the top, one of the smartest ones, the girl who seems to be almost “perfect”, the obedient daughter, and the girl who ‘s afraid to commit mistakes. All the people around me - especially my parents, were all happy and proud, but guess who’s not? Me. Definitely. Well, I am happy with the fact that i’m making my family proud, but then when i’m all alone, i feel..empty. It feels like there is something missing in my life. And in a sudden, i figured out what it really is after meeting this guy that changed everything.
So one day, i was preparing the materials that i need for my biology experiment when our teacher suddenly called our attention. He introduced a new transferee student from a city not so far from us, but that’s all i’ve heard. I wasn’t paying attention to what the new student was saying about his life, since i was too busy checking and completing the materials. Then, i suddenly heard that the chair beside mine was being moved, so i realized that he’s going to occupy that one, and he’s gonna sit next to me. I didn’t care - yet. Cause after a while, i never thought that he would be the one to fill the missing part of my life.
We became friends. He’s very nice and funny, he makes me laugh all the time. My teachers have noticed that i’m beginning to lose my focus because of talking and laughing with him most of the time so one of my them decided to transfer him in a new seat. I didn’t show any sadness or any kind emotion, but deep inside, i felt really sad. And i guess he was too, so we never stopped communicating since then. We exchanged phone numbers, he sits beside me and my friends during lunch, and he always go to the library just to see me, even though he was never fond of books. From that moment, i caught myself longing for his presence, wanting to talk to him every minute of the day, and wishing he was always there beside me to make me laugh. Every time i see him, i can feel my heart beating like a drum, and that was actually the very first time that i’ve felt that way towards someone. I’ve never felt so happy in my entire life. We had this kind of mutual understanding, but we’re not yet couples.
But i guess i was too excited about the whole “new” thing. My grades were quite affected and my teachers were not happy about it. They knew what the reason was, so they called my mom, and told her all about the affair that me and this guy have. After hearing this, she bursted out in rage. When i went home, my whole family was waiting, my mom ready to yell at me, my dad, ready to rebuke me, my sister, waiting to curse at me, and at that moment, the unstoppable tears flowing from my gloomy eyes was the only answer that they had from me. That was the first time that my whole family became so much dissapointed of my deeds. They didn’t even listen to me. They were all filled with anger to let me explain. But i have no regrets. I didn’t do anything wrong, after all. All i did was to be happy with someone who makes me feel different from everybody else. A person who makes me laugh real hard, makes me forget all the pressure that the people around throws at me all the time. I know i’m too young to fall in love, but after all those years that i’ve spent doing my best just to make them all proud, don’t i deserve my own happiness? :’(
