I miss him. I miss everything about him and every inch of him. My god, not seeing him is like torture. I’m used to be with him, every single day of the week, 8 hours a day for 5 months but then pooff! it suddenly stopped when I resigned. Our communication is still there though, like texts, facebook chats and etc., but still something’s missing. I want to be with him everyday before I leave. I can’t handle not seeing him for 3 freaking days how much more for 2 f*cking years? But I have to get used to it. Yeah, you heard it right. I’ll be out of the country for 2 years. I’ll be in Japan with my family to study, but I vowed and promised him that I’ll be back no matter what.
I once asked him “Dada, can you wait for me?” And he replied, “Mommy, two years will just pass by quickly compared to forever, because two years has a beginning and has an end, but forever? It has a beginning but it doesn’t end.” I laughed out loud after that because I was not used to it. It was new to me, but deep in my heart I was touched. His answer was enough to let me come back to him after two years. I really hope and wish that he’ll wait, because I will.
Well, anyways my flight for Japan will be on the 28th but before that day comes, I plan to see him everyday, I’ll be visiting him at work after his shift. I don’t care where we’ll be going as long I’m with him, it’s really enough for me. Seeing him, touching him and kissing him..
In about a few hours it will be March 12, 2012 here in the Philippines. This day, well let’s say it’s someone’s birthday. That someone was the reason I created a tumblr in the first place. I wanted to post things about us, about what I felt. I guess I created one too late. Why? Because a few days in, he left. You know those quotes about being inlove with some one and all of a sudden falling out one morning you wake up? Well I hate to say it, but that’s what happened with him. But before I get to the present I’ll share the past…
December 24, 2011 was the day we “got to know each other”. We’ve seen each other before because he had joined a dance workshop that was handled by the dance crew I am in. This happened hours before Christmas, how he invited me to play Tetris on Facebook. I was pretty good at the game, the first few rounds I had one. Suddenly he made a bet. His bet was that if he won, I would give him my number. The exact thing I thought to myself was if I won the other rounds I def will win this one. So I agreed to his deal. Guess what?! Yeah you’re right, I lost, badly! I was surprised but a deal is a deal, so I gave him my number.
That same night a bit later from our game at Tetris he texted. I forgot his first text but it doesn’t matter.. I replied, and I recall after exchanging a few text messages he texted saying that he doesn’t believe that it’s me that he’s texting, he doesn’t believe that it’s Cheska. I told him that it is me and he should believe it, but if not he can call if he’d like. I know he told me he didn’t have load to call but suddenly I got a phone call. I honestly jumped out of my bed, stood up, took a deep breath and answered the call. He said, “hello?” and I said, “Do you believe me now?”.. After that short call, we texted again. He told me I had a cute voice, but I thought his was cuter. It hit past midnight and we were still texting, he greeted me a merry Christmas and I greeted him back. That same night around 2am we talked on the phone. We talked on the phone until passed 4am. I fell asleep first, and he followed after. It’s been awhile since I hate those late night phone calls where we’d rather listen to each others’ voice in exchange of sleep. That night, I felt like I knew him not for one day, but forever. It was like we knew each other for so long, we could talk and laugh about anything.
I swear I didn’t expect anything, had no high hopes because of my past. After that night we had other nights where we both stayed up talking again. We both started to be sweet towards each other and all those mushy stuff. We both also told each other that we were each others’ beat Christmas gift in life so far. I believed it at that moment but now, I don’t know if he really meant it. At the end of the week we’d tell each other happy one week and so on.. It was really cute and I couldn’t have describe how sweet he really was.
We had our first “date” on January 3, but I saw him the day before to give him something I bought him when I had a short vacation in Manila. I gave him a box of assorted Krispy Kreme, a shirt from Boracay, and a Vans shirt. He passed by my house that night, he was really cute and smelled so good. That night I have him a kiss on the cheek :3 Going back to January 3, 2012, we basically started the new year together. Last year was the worst year of my life. I practically cried most of my nights to sleep, and had no appetite to eat, and t grades went down. This year, I thought God gave me him. Finally I said to myself, God let me have that difficult year because this year he gave me something worth it, someone I deserve… I THOUGHT
Everyday we text, every weekend we’d see each other. He was a definition of a prince charming. He knew the sweetest things to say! He was the kind of guy that text novels just to say goodnight or goodmorning. He was a gentleman, he had manners. He was a kid at heart, loves cartoons and playing games. I wasn’t into that, but with him I found it interesting. He was broken in the past, so was I. We were each others walls to stay strong. He is the first guy that corrects my “i love you” to “I love you” because it had to be capital letters, my “imy” to “I miss you” because the meaning is different. He was the first guy to call me a Princess, the guy that actually makes me feel like one. He was more than what I needed.
I loved him so much, he told me he loved me too. He told me he loved me so much that I became his dream, his future. That we were both lucky to have each other, actually even more than lucky. We both matched and connected personality and appearance. We had many moments and memories that are unforgettable.
Until the beginning of February.. EVERYTHING CHANGED. It was like all of a sudden, out of the blue he just didn’t text much anymore and sort of ignored me. I wasn’t upset or mad because I was that afraid to lose him where I wouldn’t take the risk of upsetting him.. He just told me that he wasn’t ready and all this other stuff that I can’t type because maybe I might cry when I’m not suppose too.
Last year he told me he had the worst. It that. On March 13, if the things between us would have remained.. I would have planned a surprise dinner for him and his classmates. Even if I wasn’t close with them I still would’ve invited them because I knew he loved his friends. I would be in charge of all the payments. I wanted a dinner where he was with all his friends that make him happy. I would’ve have him a big box of ferrero rocher because it’s his favorite chocolate, and red vans because that’s what he wanted. I would have wrapped it in a box with a red ribbon so he’d open something on his day. I would include a long love letter, thanking him for the love and moments we had… but see that can’t happen because well, he left.
I’m not bitter as I should be. I truthfully can say he had the BEST of me, my heart had nothing negative when I was with him. Though I hate his actions and words, I will never hate him. I don’t regret anything either, because while he was there it was everything I ever needed and more. I want to greet him
a happy birthday, but then I don’t because it hurts to be reminded f the things you plan to do.
After all that, I still love him..but as a friend instead. We went from calling each other “My love” to “bff”.. But hey life has unexpected paths, we just have to accept it.
My blog: @ilovebeyondinfinity
This is my best friend Zak and I on skype. I’ve known him since kindergarden, but we became best friends in 7th grade and we’re now college freshmen. We dated once in 7th grade, but I was afraid that my mom was going to break us up and so I broke us up. Then a few years later I became interested in our friend Justin, but he wasn’t what I really wanted. What I really wanted was Zak. So ever since Prom I’ve asked him to go out with me many times, each time he has said something about being “too busy” for a relationship. Yet we still hang out all the time, and we’ve gone on so many movie dates. We just started skyping though, which is nice. This is one of four pictures I screen capped of our first skype conversation, the other three are all equally embarrassing and up on my tumblr. Hopefully soon he’ll realize he has more time for a relationship then he thinks. :]
Dressed as Minnie&Mickey for our first time @Disneyland<33
Well I don’t have a boyfriend. I dunno if you noticed anon but I am Katies boyfriend since I now run the site =P. But I can tell you that I love her very much. : )
Youngest brother & Older sister type of love right here. We may not be as close as we used to be when we were younger, but the love I have for him hasn’t, and will NOT change. <3
see that picture up there?! ^^ well… That was the last time I held onto him. That was the weekend we spent in Vegas for his 21st Birthday, the LAST weekend where I would bother him, text him and care for him in public. On October 23rd 2011, that was the last time he ever received a text from me. I bid him farewell because I worked for him for more than a month straight, wrote him a letter for every single day since the day we broke up until I decided that enough was enough. I was very lost in wanting him to be “my boyfriend” again that I lost myself. And I woke up to just letting the person I hurt go, and to call when it is enough. Enough was enough and I decided not to go on further with all the hurt and trying and the desperation and wishing for hope that was no where obvious to be found. I didn’t reach out to him that week, then my bestfriend’s birthday came and saw him the week after. After trying so hard to just let him go, SLOWLY, I saw him later that friday, and I still then wanted him to be mine but I was careful, distant, and I no longer wanted to feel attached.
So on October 28th, I saw him once again. I wasn’t being mean after all he told me, I felt that he led me on the whole time I worked for him but it turned out he was just as confused as I was. I asked him how he was, I said “hello” had a tiny chat and went on with my night talking to other people and not giving him too much of my attention. The night ended, we parted and it felt different. I didn’t go home that night and cried myself to sleep. I just slept, and I slept fine. Don’t get me wrong, Man it was hard. To act and pretend that he was just a friend. That he wasn’t the guy who I once thought I knew and loved, the one who I wanted to have forever with. It still hurt but I brushed it off. I didn’t text him after that night either, I just lived. This time, I lived with the goal of making myself happy and healthy.
I worked, I attended school, I worked out, I started to pull myself back together and slowly. There’s nothing wrong with taking things slow. I deleted every text I had with him, stopped blogging about him, deleted him off my facebook so I don’t see who he talks to and unfollowed him on Tumblr.. I distracted myself away from him and what he does and of course every first try was not successful. I learned to slowly let him go, and then I quickly trolled his blog and facebook… found out that he then had someone else in mind. What hurt me then was that, this was the same girl he texted while we would hang out during the phase of me working for him. Which hurt SO MUCH, and I disliked him. But then I realized that was none of my business so as stupid as I was, I messaged that girl, told her to take care of him and that he would take very good care of her. Doing so, made my shoulders lighter, I knew I was doing things right, that I was slowly letting things go and that I was starting to cut more strings that tied Aris and I together.
Somewhere in between October 28th to November 4th, I sent him a text one night, I told him “I miss you” I told you I commit mistakes you guys. -___-’ I regretted texting him that though, because I knew I shouldn’t miss a guy who sorta played me and led me on when I was sincerely trying my best even though I was the one who messed things up. Then I really told myself that I would be even more pathetic if I kept thinking about him. So for a couple of days I was free of haunting thoughts of the guy I loved. He then texts me randomly telling me that we both wore the same matching jacket on the same days. (MEANING HE WAS TROLLING MY FACEBOOK HEHEHE :D ) EVEN THOUGH I BLOCKED HIS ASS, lol. I don’t know how he saw it, but I sorta became happy that he noticed because secretly he trolls me the way I used to troll him.
On the 9th of November…. Aris, was constantly reaching me, telling me that we had to talk. He kept texting me and I really wanted him to leave me alone so I was eager to listen to what he had to say. He wanted to meet up but that was the night I was leaving for San Fransisco and there was no way I would see him and keep calm to whatever he has to say so I forced him to call me, or I called him and he said what he needed to say. He broke my heart again. When it was in a good position to heal. It broke and this time I didn’t feel like it would be fixed. He told me horrible news and events that happened during the time we didn’t have any contact with each other. I responded with a cry… millions of tears and gasp of breaths and a plee for help and a sign for any relief and nothing. I wanted to tell him I hated him, but nothing mean would come out from my mouth which was a total surprise. I wanted to hate him, I wanted to curse him out and wish him bad luck but nope. I just hung up on him, called my sister, my best friend, and my parey…then I cried. I kept crying.
Later on the day, he still kept texting me and I am such a fool that I wanted to help him organize his pain and confusion, I still wanted to be his friend even if I wanted NOTHING to do with him. He then finally left me alone. He stopped texting me for the rest of the weekend and I was off on a trip with my friends who helped me resort and mend some of my pain. I came back to California with a new mindset, that I was going to help heal myself before I tell myself to get over him. Aris then texts me again, that he really needs to see me. On that Monday, the 14th of November we met up after he got off work. He drove to my house and I was nice enough to let him talk since he was so desperate to. We talked. FOR HOURS AND HOURS. Sun was about to rise and we talked about a lot of things. We both cried, mad, hurt, in pain, all walls and shields were all shattered and we were naked. Feelings were all out, the truth and here we are…that below was the first picture we took with each other after that long talk…
Aris and I are still working on things to be better. And things has gotten better than last November, we became official on the 9th of January. From that night of having a long truthful and naked talk on November until before he decided to ask me to be his girlfriend again, we worked on things. Slowly. Patiently. We worked on our differences and made what we shared with each other stronger. We obviously still had strong feelings for each other. It was just that too many things came between us and we didn’t forgive each other genuinely. And now, we are looking ahead and looking past what happened back then. And here we are now…. yesterday was our 2nd Month anniversary ever since we started dating again. And so far, we are good.
Nothing but love on both of our plates. We threw away all that hatred and hurtful events and are learning from it. I can honestly tell you, to whoever audience I am reeling in that, Aris and I have a very strong stable relationship right now. I know we made A LOT OF MISTAKES from each end, but nothing can separate our Loving bond for and with each other.
We are here, working day after day for whatever comes in our way in the future. Our love for each other? I doubt could be measured. And whatever comes our way later? We are training with each other so we could be ready. Alone and separated we won’t get through anything, but together we will be able to conquer. I love him, he loves me. We both made mistakes, and we forgave each other. Our trust? It is slowly growing and getting stronger. What else can we ask? Nothing more but support from each other.
me and my boyfriend of nearly a year at our Christmas prom<3
there is no doubt he is the one for me, i love him so much, some people say ‘you’re too young to know what love is?’ but im not, i can genuinally see my future with him, and there is nothing i cant tell him, and he loves me for just being me, which is all any girl needs, he’s my baby and i hope we’re together a long time :)<3
It will be exactly 1 year on monday since me ans Sam have been together. I love him with all my heart and cannot imagine my life without him!
I still remember the day we first met. He walked into my dorm room and avoided eye contact with me at all cost. He was shy at first but soon we were laughing at each others jokes. He secretly liked me even before we met but was too scared to do anything about it.
Finally he asked me out on Valentines day. It was such a surprise to me and I was extremely happy. He was the only guy I could imagine being with. He was cute and sweet and romantic! what more could I ask for? After the most wonderful month together he asked me to be his girlfriend. I remember everything so clearly, from the weeks leading up to Feb 14th to the month we dated and the moment we became a couple. He is my best friend and my love. He would go to the ends of the Earth for me, and we are lucky to have found each other ♥
He is a true gentleman and such a sweetheart and I love him with all my heart :3
Well depending on the reason I’d say ” Well you aren’t the one dating him so you don’t have to like him I do” Unless of course he gave her a reason to not like him.