Saying goodbye to Thoai at the airport. I’m going to miss him so much. :’(
My Instagram - @hannahkitti
His instagram -@thoainguyen
Physically we’re so far apart,
but emotionally we’re so close together
I mean, sure we have our differences,
but just know my love for you will last forever
I wished, I prayed, I asked you to forgive me
Now all that’s on my mind is when I’ll get to hold you
When I get to lace my fingers with yours
Squeeze and hold you till I can’t anymore
Wake up every morning by your side
Sleep every night next to you, my wife
How I’m so eager to share my life with you
Make new memories, and grow old with you
I wish I was better at writing poetry
Hopefully I’ll be better at it when I ask you to marry me
I hope you’re smiling because of these snippets I send you every night
Rather than laughing at me.. I’m sorry this is the best I can write
You see this guy right here? He drives me crazy in so many ways. I’m probably blowing up his spot right now as I write this post, but I don’t care, I just feel the need to pour this out.
I just got out of a relationship when the Fall semester just started. As I was going through my little depression, little did I know that this guy from my Desktop Publishing class, would turn out to be one of the most important people in my life. A mutual friend finally introduced us, some flirting here and there in class was exchanged, and he finally got to ask me out during the Winter Break.
Our intentions was just to have a little fun, looking for nothing serious, but as the minutes, days, and weeks passed by, we had no clue that we would end up here we are now. On our second date, I asked him, “Why are you so interested in me?” and in his exact words, “As cheesy as this sounds, I think we have chemistry.” In fact, we did. Everything just felt normal, comfortable, and we were able to be just ourselves around each other.
But after a couple of months of attachment, the question arises to me (and still does today), “What are we?” And the simple answer to that is, “We’re dating.” We’re more than friends, but not yet in a relationship. Being in this stage has definitely got me confused and started over-thinking things. We look like a couple. We act like a couple. We do things together like a couple. So why can’t we call ourselves a couple?
In this day and age, relationships happen left and right. One day you’re in, and then the next day you’re out. We’ve both had our share of relationships in the past, we both have been hurt in some way, and we’re trying not to make the same mistakes again. I guess, it is good that we’re STILL taking our time. Though a lot of things we’ve done seem that we rushed it, but now the reality has hit me that we need to slow things down.
Rushing into things isn’t good. You’ll fall out of it just as fast you got into it. (Believe me, I’ve experienced that) But as much as I want me and him to work out, and make it official already, I need some great strength and TONS of patience right now. Been through enough, that I should know what is wrong and what is right.
I may have dropped the “L” word on him already, but I can’t help but fall for this guy who has done so much more than all of my exes combined in this amount of time we’ve been together. I can’t imagine what my life would be like if he didn’t enter it. I don’t know what the future may hold for us; but all I know right now, I don’t want to lose him, and letting him go for no apparent reason would be the stupidest decision to make, just because he isn’t ready yet.
Though this “commitment,” “loyalty,” and “monogamous” relationship we’re in right now, makes us seem like we’re in one already. I just gotta remind myself that I have to TRUST him that everything will be okay, and I have to work on my patience to be on his pace.
It’s close to 5 months since our first date, but if I want anything GOOD to happen, I gotta let go of my insecurities and worries… I just really gotta play my cards right…